Immediate CPR For Parents

Parents who have lost a child face an immediate crisis and likely have no idea where to turn or what to do. There are a few things that should be communicated with a bewildered parent to help them get through their horrible first week that I call Immediate CPR for Parent's HeartsMore...

Major Decisions

If you have just lost a child, your heart is spinning, falling and tumbling. You have lost a huge part of your center, your desire and your will. Your decision making is and will be hugely different than it has previously been because you care very little about anything else other than being with your child. Therefore, it is important that you recognize that you are not in the frame of mind to make big decisionsMore...

You Are Not Alone

Unfortunately, others have been on this sad, sad road ahead of you, and you are not alone in this terrible experience. Perhaps the experiences of others could help you bear the incalculable burden you now bear.

Early on in my own steps in this canyon of grief, I realized that I was learning things in the process; profound things. To ensure that the things that I was learning stayed with me long enough to be able to build a foundation upon, I started to write them down. Over time I realized that together, the things that were of comfort and solace to me, might similarly be as helpful to others.

Eventually I built my notes into paragraphs and then chapters. What resulted was a book that I call You Won't Cry Forever. More...

Read Now From the Book

Your Goal

Just Get Through This One Day
M	T	W	T	F	S	S
« Yesterday				Tomorrow »
		x	x	x	x	x
x	7	x	x	x	x	x
x	x	x	x	x	x	x
x	x	x	x	x	x	x
x	x	x	x	x

"I Lost My Child"

REGARDING MAJOR DECISIONS

If you have just lost a child, your heart is spinning, falling and tumbling.

You have lost a huge part of your center, your desire and your will.

Your decision making process is and will be hugely different than it has previously been because you care very little about anything else other than being with your child.

Therefore, it is important that you recognize that you are not in the frame of mind to make major decisions.

Please recognize that you are in a shock zone and do not trust yourself to know exactly what to do. Rather, allow those around you to express their sorrow and their love toward you. They all wonder what they can do for you. Let them serve you during this time, as their gift to you and as your gift to them for allowing them to be able to do something to express their love.

Also, please do not be distracted by people saying the wrong things, or things that do not seem appropriate. Besides the fact that nothing any friend can say will bring your child back, understand that NO ONE knows what to say to you...how could they? Understand that they mean well, even if they do not hit the nail on the head with their words. If they did not mean well, they would not be around you at this time. Be forgiving of them, and gentle. They love you and only want to try to ease the burden of your heart.

Give yourself time, my friend. Lots and lots of time. Consider your dreams and ambitions to be over. Consider that you will be in a handicapped state, so to speak, for the rest of your life. You won't of course, but you cannot look to a date on the calendar and hope the sorrow and deep sadness to be over by then; it doesn't work that way.

Instead, focus on finding answers to the questions that your broken, longing heart is asking. You are in God's Critical Care Unit, and no one expects anything of you in there; so don't expect so much of yourself.

Let the water flow. And make sure you grab the anchor.

You Won't Cry Forever